Even a Hero has Issues
by KinkyEyepatchShit
Summary: Once upon a time a young Mimi used a cliche line in order to save this little ginger pube from certain doom. The rest is history.


Notes: This is actually my first attempt at writing Mimi so. Have this. Thing. Also, until proven otherwise I keep seeing them meeting during adolescence.

Disclaimer: I ain't got the braincells for this.

It started off like any other showdown on the playground; flag pole, cheering crowds, teachers crying over pink slips. Except this wasn't exactly a playground [sure there was equipment and a cracked, faded slide and hobos, much like elementary school kids, loitered around and pretended to be Power Rangers. Kimberly was a compelling likeness to the real one, mustache and all] and teachers gave up pink slips centuries ago.

Regardless, it was Mimi's short cut on her way home, groceries clutched to her chest and a practiced bored expression on her face when she saw it. A group of three big, burly boys formed a circle around…something. Even squinting from her distance, all she could spot was a flash of red hair.

"Didn't your mama ever teach you to pay your dues, shithead? You've gotta pay the toll to get by us," Taunted the self-made leader, split upper lip, speech impediment and all, he probably posted shitty selfies on his blog and, unbeknownst to him, only his possie 'liked' them.

"Your mama jokes? Really? What the fuck are you, five? I could come up with one better than that," huffed the monkey in the middle. His voice dripped with contempt, as if the cocky little shit had no idea the trouble he was in. "Your mama's so fat she got stuck in the bathtub an when the cops couldn't cut her outta it, she died of diarrhea explosion. How was that?"

There was a stunned, soul searching silence, only filled with the sounds of humping hobos, fighting cats, and the palm Mimi slapped against her forehead.

"You little fuck! Nobody talks bout Bruno's mama like that! That's insensitive! She was a nice lady!" Shrieked Thug #2, a strict yet sensual bottom. He formed a fist and took one step towards their dumbass captive, who took a step back and sneered a sneer he had no right to feel.

Normally Mimi wouldn't interfere, as it wasn't her business and the cocky cock sounded as if he needed this life lesson but she was in a pretty good, bold mood. So she set her groceries down beneath the lopsided, spooky merry-go-round and wandered over.

"Hey boys!" Slipped out before she could come up with something not so cliché. Dammit. At least the utterly unoriginal line caused the quartet to pause and stare at her.

"U-uh…" _Not 'pick on someone your own size', for the love of god not 'pick on someone your own size', come on Meems, you can do this! _"Pick on some….one….LOOK, IT'S A HOBO WITH A FISHTANK FULL OF WOMEN'S CLOTHING!" Mimi blurted instead, pointing in the opposite direction and widening her eyes in mock shock.

Four heads turned to stare in that direction, and the second the redhead grunted in disappointment, he kicked Mama's Boy in the balls and ran towards Mimi, hissing a prompt "RUN, BRAT!"

Not needing to be told twice, the blonde quickly retrieved her bag and followed the little instigator into the sunset, not joining in on his screams about dubstep, but feeling a rush all the same. When all was said and done and the boys had helped their limping and crying leader right past their hiding spot, the two kids sighed in relief. They'd found a decent spot to hide, in an alley hidden behind two dumpsters and an unconscious business man. The two brats sat side by side, backs against a moderately damp spot on the brick wall, huddled close. [Everyone knows if you minimize your size, you won't get caught so easily. Romantic comedies didn't go this awry in the 21st century.]

"I could have handled those dumb fucks. Wouldn't have been as lame as that, either. Thought that stuff only worked in movies," was, naturally, the first skeptical thing that popped out of the redhead's saucy mouth. And here Mimi thought he'd learned his lesson. Figures, only death or knocking up some skank taught boys anything.

Not that she would agree with him, but she, too, was surprised how well that line had worked. Instead she glowered and slugged him in the shoulder. "You're welcome, moron! You would have been Hobo food by now if I hadn't saved your dumb ass."

Hissing and huffing and puffing, the redhead rubbed his sore arm and shot her a dirty look. "I'm hard boiled, I don't need shit from you!" The split lip and the way he favored that shoulder proved otherwise. "I would've done a Bruce Lee high kick to that mama's boy an got the hell outta dodge."

"What do eggs have to do with anything?" Mimi cocked an eyebrow at him, her mouth quirking down with plenty of 'tude herself. "Even Bruce Lee needed to get his ass handed to him by Yip Man a couple of times, he wasn't just born badass."

The reaction she received was not the one she was expecting. The kid, for one, gazed at her with impossibly big green eyes, [if she had looked closer she would have noticed the damn sparkles glistening] his mouth open for flies and cocks and myriads of things to fly in and claim their kingdom. Then, "Holy shit, you're not a poser."

Mimi could only snort. "Gee, thanks. That's the most flattering thing a boy's ever said to me." It kind of was. But that's only because boys don't appreciate her ultra rare type! Idiots. Her eyes flickered over to him, considering. "My name's Mimi. You're really stupid." A thought occurred to her, pushing her into action. Fishing around in her grocery bag for a moment, she produced a push pop and handed it to him. "Here. So that fat mouth of yours doesn't get all chapped. I'm sure your boyfriend wouldn't wanna kiss that."

Cheeks flushing a deep pink even in the dim light [fuck you, pale ass irish or something skin], the boy snatched the treat from her, pushed the bottom [with little effort, he's an expert at bottoms], and stuck it in his mouth. "I'm Badou. You're just as stupid for your unoriginality. I bet your girlfriend wouldn't wanna kiss such a boring mouth." His line of sight cut to the side thoughtfully.

"Actually maybe she would…if we're gonna be friends you might as well invite me over when ya'll practice. Supervision'll help ya learn faster."

Mimi slugged him again and scoffed, but her mouth twitched into a grin. Maybe this guy was a giant, stupid, cocky dork, but he was kinda funny. There wasn't much to laugh about in times like these. Maybe it wouldn't be such a bad idea to let him stick around and 'supervise.'

...For a little red baron toad, he was sorta...cu...te.

"Whatever! Just for that you don't get a rocket pop. Dummy.


End file.
